Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Why WikiLeaks are IckyLeaks

The Prude usually doesn’t get too political but something about these WikiLeaks has her skin crawling.

And while she would love to lecture entire groups of people about
-not saying something behind one’s back that you wouldn’t say to their face, and
-taking good care of items with which you have been entrusted, AND
-not taking items that don’t belong to you that say un-nice things about others
even though the ones to whom they have been entrusted for safekeeping did a lousy job,

the above issues are not what is so repellant to Your Prude.

She scrabbled about in her psyche and came to the following conclusion:
It’s all in the name. WIKI and LEAKS

Let’s begin with the last name first.
Leaks are anathema to Prudes.
There are seldom, if ever, good connotations to the word LEAK.
Leaks are messy. They are smelly. They do damage and are hard to clean up. They mean that something has gone wrong somewhere. And they often involve expensive, extensive repairs.
Prudes don’t like LEAKS.

Now that first name. Wiki.
The techno-savvy Prude realizes there is an entire world out there with a first name of ‘Wiki’
So she had to dig a little deeper in her subconscious layers, all the way down to those formative years of the 1960’s and ‘70’s.
And there it was.
Soap on a Rope.
Amway soap on a rope, to be specific. The one that looked like a Tiki god.
And ‘Tiki’ sounds like ‘Wiki’. Doesn’t it?
In The Prude’s always hazy memory bank, there is an image of an ugly little Tiki-guy
that accompanied Young Prude and her family into the shower.
Think about this.
Young Prude had an ugly MAN with ogling eyes in the shower with her.
He was slimy and slippery.
He had a rope extending from his head, and for some reason Young Prude thought it would be best to wear him around her neck.
Possibly because she could then turn those awful eyes away from her person.
But the rope wasn’t very long and she always felt as if she were choking.

And now, my friends, The Prude triumphantly comprehends the distaste she has for WikiLeaks.
They bring to mind something that is messy, smelly, damaging, slimy, slippery, asphyxiating, and rudely ogling.

If WikiLeaks wants to find any possible favor with Prudes, they may want to consider a name change.


Tammy said...

I think you are on to something here. Your illustration immediately brought to mind a horrible childhood memory of my own... the Brady Bunch Hawaii vacation! shudder!

The Prude said...

Oh Tammy, that is a bad one.
I had a crush on Greg Brady till David Cassidy came along and rescued me from that foolishness.