Wednesday, November 10, 2010

'Oh My **** (What did you say?)

Before we list Prude-Approved Exvotions (explosive vocal resonations)  we begin, in good Prude fashion, with what is not acceptable.

Some words are banned from Your Prude’s Lexicon Of Admissible Exvotions.

Papa and Mama Prude made it clear to the young Prude early in life that blasphemy is never acceptable. Or they thought they made it clear.
In her early days, as she was teetering on a razor’s edge of prudishness vs. overt naughtiness, Young Prude made a bold decision. She would test this whole blasphemy issue.

So, on a Sunday Drive in the Country, as bucolic landscape leisured its way past the family station wagon, naughty little Prude-to-be took a deep breath and said,
“GEE! Look at all those cows in the field!”
(it should be noted here that the Prude cared little-to-nothing about the existence of cows or their population in that particular field. She was just Testing Her Limits)

The response from Mama and Papa Prude was immediate. Mama was all for giving her a patchin on her pooket WHILE feeding her bar soap. Papa, however, intervened with a Lecture. A lecture to end all lectures. A lecture that made it clear that:

1) “Gee” is just a soft word for Jesus
2) “Golly” is a soft word for ‘God Willing”
3)”Gee Whillikers” is just a very odd term for ‘Jesus Whiskers’

And in summary, Young Prude was not to take God’s name in vain, but she was free to go ahead and thank Him for that multitude of cows and that field whenever she was so moved.
The lecture stuck. Blasphemy is bad.

NOTE: The Prude realizes that different people may have different opinions on the origin and meaning of the above 3 terms. In a rare politically correct overture, she leaves your (soft) blasphemy avoidance choices up to you
NOTE TOO: Somehow Papa Prude missed ‘Gosh’ while expositing  banned soft words, and The Prude, under extreme duress, has been heard to vocalize it.

Tomorrow: The Yes-These-Are-OK Words

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