|Proof the The Prude Takes Thanksgiving Seriously|
Yesterday The Prude asked you to return today to ‘discuss’ Thanksgiving, at which point you probably snorted and said, ‘Oh right. As if The Prude ever does anything but lecture us.’
But today she really wants to hear what you have planned for Thanksgiving. If you can fight your way past the dragon that guards her comments section. (The Prude has noted that her Comment Dragon sometimes it doesn’t even let her in)
The Prude wants to know what you are doing for Thanksgiving because
she loves Thanksgiving and loves comments and doesn't want to feel guilty telling YOU what SHE is doing.
She would love to tell you, without feeling self-absorbed, that her contributions to the Thanksgiving feast are
-a turkey breast that she will cook to the point of dryness to ensure all salmonella bacteria are emaciated,
-a new stuffing recipe that will immediately be rejected by at least 7 people because it contains mushrooms
-her mother’s mashed potato casserole that never tastes like mom’s
-a broccoli casserole with the broccoli cleverly disguised by cheese sauce and cracker crumbs
-the ugly apple slices dressed up with icing
-her piece-d’ resistance: Toll House pie with whipped cream.
Here is what she will be doing the next few days. Lord willing. Because she really loves this stuff.
-Take the way too much food and the ads for Friday bargains out to sister’s farm.
-Promise everyone we’ll eat at 2. Get food on table at 3:40. Eat. Repeat.
-Clean up with womenfolk while men mysteriously disappear
-Go on hayride. Sing Thanksgiving songs. Hope food compacts enough to support layer of dessert
-Eat dessert successfully. Play a game. Watch a movie. Sleep.
-90 minute trip to Black Friday shopping. Make new friends while standing in line with bargains. Lunch at restaurant where someone else prepares food and cleans up after.
-Christmas Parade in tiny town. Cheer wildly and catch Tootsie Rolls tossed by 4-H members, local politicians and Santa Claus
- Pancake Breakfast on Another Farm
-Take down Thanksgiving decorations
-Vow to not eat until Christmas.
Your Prude, thankful for friends both known and unknown, would really love to hear something about how you celebrate her favorite holiday. And if you can't get past that lousy Comment Dragon, throw it a turkey bone. Maybe it will choke.