Monday, January 31, 2011

THIS COULD BE THE PRUDE’S LAST POST




What do you think of that dramatic title? Did it make you want to open the link?
The Prude learned to do that from Tiger Beat magazine titles, like:
‘Teen Heart-throb David Cassidy May Never Walk Again’
Young Prude, hands shaking, would grab the magazine off the grocery store shelf, desperately searching for the article. What was wrong with David? Why hadn’t this story been on the front page of the Chicago Tribune? And could Young Prude get the address of the hospital he was in to tell him she would still marry him, even in a wheelchair?
Through a haze of tears she would finally find the article.
And discover that since David had learned the joys of riding his new motorcycle, he found walking dull and boring.

The grocery store clerk would still make The Prude fork over 50 cents of hard-earned babysitting money to pay for the soggy magazine she had sobbed over.

So why the dramatic title for this post?
Because The Prude woke up today, not with the Bee Gees or KC and the Sunshine Band songs floating through her head, but 3 of the only 4 jokes she can ever remember.

They are not very nice. You may call them objectionable. You may want to shield your children’s eyes.
You may even legitimately say these jokes stink.
The Prude will be shamed, lose her Prude Points, her Prude reputation,
and maybe even banned from posting.
But she can’t help it.
If she doesn’t share these jokes she won’t be able to exorcise them from her brain and it won’t be able to complete a single thought. Especially if she starts singing the jokes to the tune of ‘I Will Survive’.

So here are 3 of the 4 jokes in The Prude’s repertoire.
Forgive me.

Q. What is brown and sits in an army barracks?
A. Gomer’s Pile

Q. What is brown and sits in the woods?
A. Winnie’s Pooh

Q. What is brown and sits on a piano bench?
A. Beethoven’s Last Movement.


There you have it. And you didn't even have to pay 50 cents.
The Prude’s brain is now free to think of an idea for tomorrow’s post.
If, that is, she hasn’t been banished from Prudeland forever.

9 comments:

Cindy said...

It worked! I popped your blog open so fast it would've made your head spin! Don't scare me like that!

The Prude said...

Hehehe.
Sorry.
I will stoop to any depths :)

Lori said...

I'm still chuckling from your jokes. I don't think I've heard those before, and they're made more funny because they're from the Prude.

Ah, Tiger Beat. Be still my heart. I'd trade my David Cassidy photos for your Bobby Sherman ones if we were still in Junior High. Bobby Sherman was the bomb.

Anonymous said...

Whaaat! I was panicked! You are so creative and I would miss your blogs.
I waited with baited breath for every issue of Tiger Beat to hit my drugstore shelf. Every picture of Davy Jones was plastered across my bedroom wall. I devoured every printed word. They had me hooked! - Joanie

Sue said...

Recently in our children's church we were having technical difficulties. The leader asked if any of the kids had a joke to tell while we were waiting. She quickly regretted her offer when a kindergartener stood up and proudly proclaimed the same 3 jokes in your blog! You are in such good company!

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