Thursday, January 20, 2011

When Life Doesn't Give You Lemons (pt.2)

Shakespeare, in ‘A Midsummer’s Night Dream’, used a little device called a Play Within a Play. And The Prude, never averse to legitimate idea-plagiarization, will do something of the sort today.

One simmering summer afternoon, a perspiring Prude answered a knock on her front door to find 2 charming children with a pitcher of something pink-ish.
Her suspicions were immediately aroused.

The following play-within-a-play will explain the source of the suspicions:

Earlier that summer. Prude and her husband are out for a stroll. Several charming neighborhood children are milling, led by the appealing little girl.

Prude and Husband: Hi Kids! How are you?
Appealing Little Girl (charmingly): Great! Wanna see what we have?
Prude and Husband (unsuspectingly): Sure! Looks like… rocks?
ALG (triumphantly): That’s right!  We’re selling rocks! These little white ones are a dollar each, those bigger stripy ones are five dollars and the great big smooth ones are ten dollars!
How many do you want?
Prude (with slight suspicion):Umm, er, where did you get them?
ALG: (evasively) Oh, from our yard. And… around.
Prude’s Husband (with magnificent and confirmed suspicion): Wait a minute! Those big rocks are from along OUR DRIVEWAY!!!!!
ALG (craftily): For an extra 5 dollars we’ll haul them back for you.

And now you know the source of Your Prude’s suspicions.
We return to the front doorstep, the appealing little girl and her cohort, and The Prude, who has just inquired as to the pinkish contents of the pitcher.

Prude (with repeated suspicion): So…is it lemonade?
Appealing Little Girl (brightly): Actually, it’s a dollar a glass!
Appealing Little Boy unzips money belt and waits expectantly.

Prude (spinelessly sighing): Let me get my purse. Here you go. A dollar.
ALG (tantalizingly): For only 10 dollars we’ll sell you the whole pitcher!
ALB waves it temptingly under The Prude’s nose.
The Prude gets a whiff of the contents for the first time.

Prude (suspiciously): Say-this isn’t lemonade, is it?
ALG (proudly): No! It’s our own recipe!
ALB attempts to look modest.

Prude (suspiciously): What did you put in here?
ALG (reminiscingly): There’s some sugar, some grapefruit juice, salt, some vanilla, and MILK!
ALB smacks his lips.
Children leave with the Prude’s dollar.

Later that evening.

Prude (to husband returning from long day at work): Honey, look what the neighborhood kids brought you to drink!


Lori said...

Where's the rest of the beverage? For a dollar, the glass should have been overflowing.

The Prude said...

Oh Lori, these children are the entrepreneurs of the future. I wouldn't be surprised to hear they were selling snow to Buffalo New York.

ScheltyFly said...

Heh, heh. My Encyclopedia Brown guess yesterday was GRAPEFRUIT juice! lol

Sue said...

Are they entrepreneurs of the future or scammers of the future? Very funny story and great picture. Can't imagine what the problem was yesterday!