Monday, May 23, 2011

Global Village Monday: The Bottom from the Top


The Prude knows with absolute assurance that God created mountains.
She knows He created legs, conveniently jointed at strategic points, to propel bipeds from place to place.
And she believes that He gave the ingenuity to create something as marvelous as the digital camera.

So when one of His creatures laces her new Keds, summons her courage, energy reserves, and scraps of pride, and heads UP a mountain on her LEGS armed with a CAMERA,
the least she can expect is that she will be able to photograph the incredible height she attained.
Up. Way, way up.
But look at this photo The Prude took from the top.
Honestly. Would you believe she just walked a mile and three quarters almost straight up
from this shot? That muscle, sinew, creaky joints and gasping lungs, fueled by sweat and fear, forced her step by painful step to incredible and dizzying heights?

Where, you ask in legitimate bewilderment, is the bottom?
How do we know, you inquire suspiciously, that she didn’t just snap this from a patio wall while sipping her iced tea?
We can tell, you say sternly, that Mount Everest is quite a hike. There are photos to prove it.
Proof Mt. Everest is high
We know Sam and Frodo endured a torturous scramble up Mt. Doom, again because of photographic-ish evidence. 
Proof Mt. Doom is high

But can we really believe The Prude climbed anything higher than a septic mound?

It is not her fault.

The same God who gives legs and mountains and cameras also provides trees by the thousands upon tens of thousands to obscure a 
breathtaking proof photo 
of the heights to which The Prude attained to get to the 
natural bridge in eastern Kentucky.
The next time the Prude climbs a mile and three quarters up a mountain, 
it is going to be located someplace in Mordor.

LOTR photo: collecttolkien.com

2 comments:

Robin J. Steinweg said...

Oh dear, Prude,

You may go alone!

Wallydraigle said...

Well, I hate to badger you, but you know the mountains of Utah are relatively tree-free. Just sayin'.