Tuesday, May 10, 2011

The 5 Finger Fault Zap Boomerang

The Ultimate 5 Finger Fault Zap

The Prude’s has shared many of her father’s wise sayings, but she always forgets one.
It slips down in those little folds in her brain much like a sesame seed will lodge in some crevice of your teeth.
Difficult to get at, impossible to ignore.
Father Prude said repeatedly:
“Every time you point at someone, 3 fingers are pointing back at you.”

Muleheaded  Young Prude attempted to get around the letter of this law with total disregard for its spirit.
She instead pointed with hands full spread, ala the ‘Star Wars’ Emperor zapping Luke Skywalker.
“There,” she thought with satisfaction. “Now I can point out 5 faults in one fell swoop!”

You wonder, “Didn’t the Prude’s father explain the point? That the little pebble we criticize in others is our own whopping stumbling block?”
He tried, repeatedly.

Young Prude was too busy galloping virtuously around her home, school, church and neighborhood, giving the Five Finger Fault Zap to all and sundry.

Eventually, (since Prudes adore Rules of Good Behavior), she was convicted that the physical act of pointing is rude.
So she simply internalized it.

But periodically throughout her life, the little proverb emerged from a brain fold and she was forced to deal with it.
She suspects her conscience was at work with the brain version of a toothpick, poking and digging and finally retrieving the bit of truth to wave triumphantly.

Each time, no matter what her Pronouncement of Judgment on the Five Finger Fault recipient, those pesky three fingers somehow maneuvered back to point out her own multitude of failings, faults, flaws and foibles.

She has an idea:
Instead of letting the ‘Every time you point at someone, 3 fingers are pointing back at you’ maxim float freeform around her brain where it could again easily fall in a conscience cavity, The Prude keeps it up front, sort of like a beauty mark, or caps on teeth.
Her exhausted conscience would be grateful.
Too bad the Star Wars Emperor never thought of it.

No comments: