The Prude is a proud shopper at her beloved local Piggly Wiggly, But even The Pig is not immune to some Supermarket Issues:
-Produce bags that clamp themselves tightly shut. Produce shoppers vainly tug a bag this way and that, rub what they naively believe to the top of the bag between their hands fast enough to ignite sparks, and finally rip it open with their teeth.
-Feuding hot dog and hot dog bun manufacturers and their deliberate creation of lunchtime chaos. Mothers who barely survived Algebra 1 have to figure out how 10 hot dogs fit on 8 buns. The Prude believes this may have triggered the whole carbohydrate-free diet craze.
-The sub-zero temperature range of the refrigerator/freezer section. It is perversely lowered even further in the summer months when shoppers tend to leave thermal underwear, snowmobile suits and insulated gloves at home.
But The Prude has her own special gripe with supermarkets–or, let’s be fair– food manufacturers.
The Prude is a recipe doubler. Most recipes said to feed 4 were barely an appetizer for her 5-person family.
And as good shoppers know, larger size packages of food tend to be more economical that the small ones.
Pasta manufacturers graciously package their products in multiples of 4: 8 oz, 12 oz. 16 or 32 ounces. Can you see how this makes doubling (or 1.5-ing) possible?
Canned tomatoes are trickier- 8 oz, 14.5 to 15 oz, and 28 to 29 oz.
Obviously not perfect doubling. But The Prude just adds a bit more water or maybe some catsup, reminds her family she is no Julia Child, and everyone is happy.
So where is the rant? You may well ask.
In the cream cheese department.
Small packages: 3 oz. Large packages: 8 oz.
Can you understand the frustration that comes from doubling a recipe calling for a small package of cream cheese, using the more economical 8 oz package, and having 2 lousy ounces of cream cheese left over?
Sadly, The Prude Family seldom remembers to use those 2 extraneous ounces on their bagels and eventually they (the cream cheese, not the Prude Family) turn green and are dumped into the trash and The Prude wonders how thrifty she really was.
The Prude will no longer remain silent. This Issue should be remedied. She will travel to Philadelphia and demand that they either make large packages exactly twice the size of the small ones, or start coming up with recipes for 2 ounces of green cream cheese.