Monday, December 20, 2010

The Hesitant Hugger

There are 3 types of huggers in the world.

-The Habitual Hugger embraces, in a genial and non-lascivious manner, almost anyone.
The Habitual Hugger is a warm, positive sort of person. The sort who has, somewhere in the essence of his or her being, a boundless wellspring of hugs that burst forth in the presence of other human beings, most (non-human devouring) animals, and even, in certain instances, deciduous trees.

T-he Heavens No! Huggers are easy to spot, (they are the ones who keep arms rigidly at their sides upon meeting and greeting others) and can repel even the most enthusiastic Habitual Huggers.  Their wellspring of hugs is significantly smaller and reserved for the favored few.Their Personal Space is almost palpable and is not to be invaded except by personal invitation. For the unsure Habitual Hugger (whose Personal Space Antenna may have been damaged by a lifetime of over-enthusiastic embraces), The Prude will share this helpful little diagram:
The pointy thing on the Heavens No! Hugger is his/her nose. Just FYI


-And then we have the Hesitant Hugger.  The type raised in a loving, but non-demonstrative family. The type who does not easily display affection. Their wellspring of hugs is hopelessly tangled with the faulty Personal Space Antenna which is in turn hopelessly stuck because our H.H. fiddles with the controls for too long. The Hesitant Hugger tends to be a slow processor of thoughts and emotions. Upon meeting a friend or family member, or parting from a friend or family member, the Hesitant Hugger undergoes the following internal conversation:

“Here I am, face to face with _______. I have a great deal of affection for _______.  Is _______  a Heaven’s No! Hugger? Drat! My P.S. Antenna is stuck again! Or maybe _______ is a Habitual Hugger whose P.S. Antenna is all bunged up and isn’t sure if I’m a Heaven’s No! Hugger or not.  And is this a proper occasion to hug? And if it is, do I do the One-Armed Squeeze? The quick Burp Pat? Or the full frontal Bear Hug?”

By this time of course, the opportune moment for an embrace is past. The Hesitant Hugger stands awkwardly gazing at ________ a moment before excusing him/herself to the restroom.

The Prude, as those personally acquainted with her can confirm, is of the Hesitant Hugger variety.
This coming Sunday she will be saying goodbye to some friends who are packing up their adorable children and moving across the country and there is a chance she will not see them many more times this side of heaven.
And The Prude will most likely just say an awkward farewell before fleeing to the restroom. But in her heart, that tangled wellspring of warm embraces, they will be held with great and enduring affection.


ScheltyFly said...

Needing a "love" button on Blogger today! ♥ Along with a "brought tears to eyes" button...

mom said...

You'll have to remind me NOT to immediately hug you when we meet someday.....

Tammy ~@~

Tammy said...

Awww... I knew we had so much more in common! I am a Hesitant Hugger as well... but working on being more open. I remain though, a huge fan of my personal space.

Lori said...

I have been hugging my Hesitant Hugger children every day since teenage awkwardness fell upon them. I am just enough of a brat to give you a huge hug next time I see you--so be forewarned--if I remember, that is. I know you're too kind to kick.

The Prude said...

Just to clarify- I am a Hesitant HuggER, not a Hesitant HuggEE!!!!!

Lori said...

Oh!! You've enlightened me. I wasn't considering the difference. They are easier to get than give, now that I think about it.