Friday, December 10, 2010

More Dove to Love


Top Ten Reasons You Should Love Mourning Doves
Part 2: The Final Five
If you remember from the little tease at the end of yesterday’s post, the main reason The Prude enjoys mourning doves so much is that they remind her of middle-aged woman-dom. Read our Top Five and see if you don’t agree.

REASON #5
She has a pear-shaped figure.
Middle-aged women gaze in the mirror in wonder at figures that have redistributed
themselves south, making the purchase of jeans a time of weeping and gnashing of teeth. If Mourning doves wore jeans, they would understand.

REASON #4
The pear shape leads to awkward body movements
It’s not only desire to clean up the area around the bird feeder that keeps mourning doves on the ground. The cute little songbirds can flutter and swoop and look adorable while landing in impossibly small places to peck away at their food. Our poor dove, once she has the ground tidied up, sighs deeply, looks around in hopes no one is watching, and hauls her ungainly pear-shaped form up to the bird feeder where she sits tottering as it rocks madly for and aft.

REASON #3
She has poor body image
How can she have anything else? She is  always hanging around feeders along with the chickadees and the sparrows and the cardinals. None of whom is pear-shaped.

REASON #2
In spite, or because, of the above, she dresses sensibly
She knows that shades of gray and taupe are slimming. She doesn’t accessorize much, hence she doesn’t call attention to ‘problem areas’. But she is always grateful when she is told that she has a pretty face.

REASON #1
She makes sure her husband holds her in high esteem.
She knows she can never compete with the petite chickadees or the elegant cardinals.
But she still makes sure that potential suitors court her with respectful bows.
And when the right one comes along, she lets him take an active part in sitting on the nest and parenting the children.

The mourning dove. She may not be the loveliest of birds, or even the brightest.
But she works hard and her husband loves her.

What a woman.

3 comments:

katstrange said...

I don't dove watch. I like her, (along with the Jersey cow) because she is pretty. I'm shallow like that.

mom said...

I loved reading your reasons why you love the mourning dove. I love her, too, but for a very different reason. Growing up there were always a lot of mourning doves that lived by my grandmother's house. Every time I was there I heard them cooing. Over the last couple of years there's been some mourning doves somewhere in my own neighborhood as I heard their familiar coos. I have to say that every time I hear them I get a great big warm fuzzy feeling as it immediately reminds me of my grandma. It's a huge comfort feeling kind of thing :-)

Blessings,
Tammy ~@~

The Prude said...

Kathy, now I am singing that Ray Stevens song, "Everything is beautiful, in its own way-ay..."

Tammy, I love this reason. Every time I smell Concord grapes ripening in the sun I am back in my Grandpa's back yard.