Life can be difficult for a Christmas Tree Puritan. There are rituals to be observed.
Timetables to be met.
Regulations to be obeyed.
This year The Prude and her family, a group of Christmas Tree Puritans, observed
every ritual, regulation and timetable
And that has made all the difference.
First Item on Timetable
-get a tree no later than the 2nd weekend after Thanksgiving
Go into the wilderness and chop down a tree.
Decorate the tree fulsomely and allow the baby of the family, assisted by dad, to put the angel on top.
Make sure the tree looks all warm and delightful at night.
Second Item on Timetable
Tree must remain up until after New Year's Day.
And this is when the Christmas Tree Puritans realize they have omitted
Get a Frasier Fir because they will not shed their needles-ever.
A Frasier Fir could survive the whirlwind trip from Kansas to Oz with every needle intact.
But our impulsive Christmas Tree Puritans this year choose a lovely, plump, majestic non-Frasier Fir.
They didn't realize till after they were committed to it that this particular non-Frasier has a genetic tendency to balding.
They drop needles when trucks rumble by, when the 13 pound dog passes, when air molecules wander into the vicinity.
But true Christmas Tree Puritans will not abandon ship. They will not deviate from the Second Item on the Timetable.
The tree stays up until after New Year's Day.