Thursday, December 2, 2010

If I click my heels and ring a bell, can I have a fairy?




You may have noticed that The Prude, in an attempt to stave off possible copyright accusations, has taken to providing her own illustrations and artwork. She realizes the dressed-up dustmop may be reminiscent of certain television commercials, but The Prude was dressing up cleaning products years before it became fashionable.

When Young Prude was in her preteen years, she wished she had a fairy godmother who would make her look like Laurie Partridge from ‘The Partridge Family’ (note- the Prude NEVER wanted to look like Marcia, Marcia, Marcia) 
Fairy Godmother let her down and for a time she looked more like the freckled Danny Bonaduce.

During college finals time, she wished there was a fairy to sprinkle pixie dust over the eyes of some handsome millionaire, who, on seeing College Prude, would breath breathlessly in her ear and tell her there was no need for a college education on the tropical island to which he would whisk her.
Pixie Dust Fairy let her down and she got her degree and handsome thousandaire who whisked her briskly back to the Midwest.

Young Mother Prude would return home after church or 3 t-ball games in a row, close her eyes tightly and throw open the kitchen door, wishing that Housekeeping Fairy had been there to finish the dishes, mop the floor, and clean the spills from the bottom of the refrigerator.
Instead, Housekeeping Fairy smirked and moved in with Young Mother Prude’s already immaculate mother-in-law, where she spent her days fluttering around the TV and watching ‘Judge Judy’.

This morning The Prude stepped out of her warm bed into her chilly house and wished there was, somewhere in the continental United States, a Firewood Fairy who would keep the home fires burning through the night so the Family Prude could awaken to a blazing fire in the hearth.
Firewood Fairy was either burned out or busy with an old flame.

OR, horror of horrors, none of the above fairies exist.
Maybe no fairies exist.
Maybe The Prude will have to make do with a bearded, wingless guy who gets out of bed first in the morning to get the coffee going.
But, just maybe, wishes do come true.

4 comments:

Lori said...

Just this morning I was plotting and dreaming how nice it would be to have a team of maids for just one day.
Then I started thinking how much straightening and picking up I would have to do before they came (to make the house presentable) and I promptly dismissed the plan.

ScheltyFly said...

Prude, Your Bearded Coffee Man sounds like a keeper! My Impossible-Beard Man (also wingless) does dishes and laundry, but no coffee in the morning, which is just fine, since I don't imbibe.

And Lori, I know LOTS of people who hire a maid service every two weeks to FORCE themselves to keep up with the clutter...

Anonymous said...

I knew I was missing something! - Joanie

Robin J. Steinweg said...

Ah, Laurie Partridge (wasn't she Susan Dey?)---how I longed to look like her! And never Marcia, Marcia, Marcia.

And how I still long for a housekeeping fairy. Or genie. Or gifts like Mary Poppins or even Professor Lupis with his Mary Poppins-like clean-up upon his resignation.

You encourage me, Prude!