Monday, February 14, 2011

The Prude Household Feels the Love

Come with Your Prude on a little jaunt through Prude Family thoughts as they arise on Valentine’s Day 2011.

Married Sons: I’m married to the most beautiful woman in the world… do married couples have to give each other gifts? Mom & Dad never did…

Unmarried college son: Good thing I’m single. I can’t afford to buy a girl anything.

Prude Husband: It’s February 14 today? Now why does that sound familiar?

Prude: Ahh, Valentine’s Day.
What a great routine we had when the boys were small!
Dress them in cute red shirts.
Change to less cute red shirts after spilled breakfast cereal incident.
Read a moving, tear-inducing Valentine’s poem.
Through misty eyes see them whacking each other.
Threaten to read poem 20 more times unless they stopped fighting.
Get out paper, scissors, glue, glitter and lace to make Valentine cards.
Spend 3 hours getting glue out of hair and the carpet and finding glitter in places glitter shouldn’t be found.
Change less-cute red shirts into shirts with a modicum of red somewhere- anywhere.
Cut lunchtime sandwiches into heart shapes.
Find them trying to squish little brother’s face into the heart cookie cutter.
Mix up dough for sugar cookies. Battle commences over attempts to eat raw dough and/or shape it into weapons of little-brother destruction
Cut out 8 dozen heart shaped cookies.
Bake. Burn half because of tragedies involving flour, eggs and bloody noses.
Make icing, add food coloring.
Notice a direct correlation between finger marks in icing and red lips, teeth and tongues of boys.
Frost 10 cookies before boys throw selves to ground in violent reaction against any more projects.
Spend 3 hours cleaning kitchen while boys figure out how to find and eat 3 dozen cookies.
Change dough and icing spattered sort of reddish shirts for whatever comes out of the drawer first.
Light candles for dinner. Light again after eldest blows out, Again after middle puffs at them. Use fire extinguisher after youngest jerks tablecloth to get at them.
Serve heart-shaped pizza for dinner with red jello-jiggler hearts and salvaged cookies.
3 interruptions by vomiting boys.
Tuck everyone in bed and start planning the shamrock themed St. Patrick’s Day party.

Ahh, Valentine’s Day 2011. A day to reminisce, count one’s blessings, and haul out the heart-shaped cookie cutter.
The sole use for the Prude's cookie cutter

1 comment:

Sue said...

Fabulous, simply fabulous! I'm telling right now it is more fun with grandchildren. Again, thanks for writing.