Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Offensive, Disgusting and Nauseating. Oh My!

Today will be a difficult post. I know it will offend/horrify some of you. I beg you to forgive me but ask you to understand. It is not The Prude’s fault. Blame it on the ‘70’s.

(That is all there is to my prologue this morning. I believe it is my shortest ever. Today may mark a turning point in this blog. Time will only tell.)

The Prude remembers the music of the 70’s well. Until disco came along and she spent the rest of the decade with cotton in her ears.  There were many Trifling Tunes in that era, and I am sure you have your favorites.  But right now, let’s just choose 2.  You may want to have a plastic-lined trash bag next to you. And possibly some 7-Up and crackers.

‘I Don’t Like Spiders and Snakes’

I don't like spiders and snakes
And that ain't what it takes to love me
You fool, you fool
I don't like spiders and snakes
And that ain't what it takes to love me
Like I wanna be loved by you

(The Prude feels the rest of the song is too risqué and refuses to reprint the lyrics.)
Those of you who do not like spiders and snakes are either saying a hearty ‘AMEN’ right now or you are cowering in the bathroom with the lights on (after inspecting the corners.)
But some things have to be said. The Prude believes this song single-handedly ushered in the ‘Goth’ phase AND inspired the present Tattoo Mania that has taken over the epidermis of the nation.

The next song, inexplicably, was a favorite of Young Prude and she would belt it out at peak lung capacity while listening to WCFL on the car radio. The Prude’s Parents were not happy but could find nothing objectionable (apart form the obvious) in the lyrics, so they cringed and let her sing:
DEAD SKUNK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD

Crossin' the highway late last night
He shoulda looked left and he shoulda looked right
He didn't see the station wagon car
The skunk got squashed and there you are!

You got yer
Dead skunk in the middle of the road
Dead skunk in the middle of the road
You got yer dead skunk in the middle of the road
Stinkin' to high Heaven!

Take a whiff on me, that ain't no rose!
Roll up yer window and hold yer nose
You don't have to look and you don't have to see
'Cause you can feel it in your olfactory

You got yer
Dead skunk in the middle of the road
Dead skunk in the middle of the road
You got yer dead skunk in the middle of the road
Stinkin' to high Heaven!

Yeah you got yer dead cat and you got yer dead dog
On a moonlight night you got yer dead toad frog
Got yer dead rabbit and yer dead raccoon
The blood and the guts they're gonna make you swoon!
You got yer
Dead skunk in the middle of the road
Dead skunk in the middle of the road
You got yer dead skunk in the middle of the road
Stinkin' to high Heaven!

C'mon stink!

You got it!
It's dead, it's in the middle
Dead skunk in the middle!
Dead skunk in the middle of the road
Stinkin' to high heaven!
All over the road, technicolor man!
Oh, you got pollution
It's dead, it's in the middle
And it's stinkin' to high, high Heaven

This is one of those songs that needs to be printed in its entirety. Miss a verse and you lose the effectiveness.

The Prude, who can’t pat a dog without immediately scrubbing her hands with Dial soap, is not sure what appeal this song held. It could be that it represented her rebellious phase.

The Prude’s parents should have listened more carefully. This song would pave the way (notice The Prude’s use of a road analogy) for topics that are, to this day, hotly debated in government houses, coffee shops and by unbiased new channels. Let The Prude help you unravel the lyrics and what they represent.

The station wagon car: The cause of the problem. A gas-guzzler. Used by families with more children than their carbon footprint can bear.
The dead skunk IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD: Obvious. Those on the left and the right are ready to squash those in the middle, where (it is implied) they stink up the whole political arena.

The other dead animals: They represent evils that need to be squashed. Dead cats and dogs are obviously those who fight like the above quadrupeds, so they represent WAR.
Dead toad frogs represent pharmaceutical companies. Or drug cartels. It is hard to be sure. Dead rabbits and raccoons? The fur industry!

The encouragement to roll up the window to protect one’s olfactory a clever use of irony, in fact telling us NOT to ignore the problem(s). The grammatical structure (or lack thereof) has been interpreted as:
a) begging for more traditional curriculum in the schools
b) nose-thumbing at more traditional curriculum in the school.

The final verse has a not-so-subtle diatribe against pollution, (oh, you got pollution) the phrase ‘C’mon, stink!’ shows the militant nature of the songwriter, and the final line, ‘stinkin’ to high high Heaven’ has long been debated. It is either the defiant bellow of an atheist, or a devout prayer for Divine Guidance.

We will draw a merciful curtain on the 70’s. Your Prude had no idea she would wax so eloquent. Or travel so far down this road. Blame it on the dead skunk.

2 comments:

Tammy said...

LOL! Sadly, I don't remember either of those songs. Your great insight into these subtle messages continues to amaze me. If only more people shared your discernment, perhaps we would not be subject to the more literal messages of recent times. No pressure. ;)

The Prude said...

Tammy, you missed so much not growing up in the 70's. Tomorrow we'll analyze 80's and 90's songs-not a literal message in the bunch!