Thursday, October 21, 2010

Lunatic Fringe Prudes

Example of Out-of-Kilter Universe
Yesterday’s post on the Weighted Alphabet left some people scratching their heads.
“What on earth is she TALKING about?” they ask in bewilderment.

The best way to answer is to tell you a bit about The Prude. Maybe that knowledge will help you understand future and equally baffling posts. Because, if The Prude continues to
write, she can guarantee that there will be more bafflement to come.

So today we will have a short, straightforward essay followed by a short, straightforward question. The Prude will fight the urge to wander down murky, obscure byways.

FIRST
Everyone probably has an idea of what a Prude is. Today a prude is misunderstood as someone easily shocked by matters of-um- procreation and -er- lack of garments.  BUT, a further search reveals that  “if we dig into the history of the word prude (emphasis mine), we find that it has a noble past.(emphasis mine) The change for the worse took place in French (emphasis mine). French prude first had a good sense, "wise woman," (emphasis mine) but apparently a woman could be too wise or, in the eyes of some, too observant of decorum and propriety. (answers.com)

So, until the French went and muddied things up, Prudes were recognized as noble, wise and good, not to mention vitally important, members of society.


SECOND
Into this proud tradition stumbles Your Prude. (who understands that you may already be in possession of many prudes of your own. So feel free to mentally translate ‘YOUR Prude into THIS PARTICULAR Prude).

And This Particular Prude wants to encourage decorum and propriety in the world, not only in matters of procreation and garment coverage, but in an almost unlimited (The Prude devoutly hopes) number of areas.

The Prude sees the Larger Picture. She sees the delicate balance of the universe and how it can thrown out of whack by poorly distributed Family Alphabet Equilibrium, pink power ties (or poodles- a subject for another day) or the entire 1960’s. And this puts her in a very tiny group of Prudes through the Ages.
The Lunatic Fringe Prudes.


THE PRUDE’S PITFALL

Lunatic Fringe Prudes see SUCH a large picture, they gaze in such horror at the many dimensions in the universe that are topsy-turvy, and they work so busily at the complex and often inscrutable solutions to topsy-turviness, that they can sometimes be labeled as
slightly off-kilter themselves.

The Prude hopes this helps you understand, if not her more perplexing posts, at least the reasons behind them. Be kind to her. She has to encourage an entire slouching universe to stand up straight and hold its shoulders back.

THE PRUDE’S QUESTION
Well, actually it took so long for The Prude to explain her lunacy that there is no time for the question.
BUT! Please come back tomorrow! Because Your Prude really wants to hear the answer to her
Question of the Week.

7 comments:

katstrange said...

I still don't get the alphabet thing.

Mark F. said...

Huh?

Beth said...

I TOTALLY understand the alphabet thing - does that mean I'm a Prude, too??

The Prude said...

Don't worry Kathy and Mark. You are just so perfectly balanced that the tipsyness I observe doesn't affect you.
Yes Beth, you are a Prude.
Welcome, sister!

Tammy said...

Really? The alphabet thing made so much sense to me... as do most of your posts. I will just go ahead and attribute that to myself as wisdom. ;)

Lori said...

I'm with Tammy! I always appreciate her comments, too. Do we get an award?

The Prude said...

Award season is right around the corner. Working furiously on categories as we speak.