Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Where are the Facilities? A Horror Movie with a New Heroine

(Today we continue Scary Week here at The Prude Disapproves. She hopes no one has bad dreams tonight.)

The Prude watched (usually from behind her fingers) her share of horror movies. There were always a few Apocalyptic, post-nuclear war types that focused on the devastation and the dreadful, barbaric conditions survivors have to face.

But can you guess what was the most terrifying aspect of those movies? Probably not, because the scenes were deleted due to their extreme awfulness. But The Prude knew the true reason for the fear lurking in those survivors’ eyes. She KNEW, and it sent her cowering into a corner.

ALL THE FLUSH TOILETS IN THE WORLD HAD BEEN WIPED OUT!!!!!!
(there is a modest pun in the above line, can you find it?)

Yes, one of The Prude’s looming post-apocalypse fears is living in a world with no
flushing toilets.

But Your Prude wants to make her own movie, with a new kind of heroine for that frightening new world. A sort of Mad Prude at the Porcelain Dome.

The heroine- lets call her Restroom Woman, would roll around the barren countryside, wiping out despair and assuring that everyone has access to plenty of this:
Even if she had to grow it herself.



Pumped for victory, Restroom Woman would waste no time. She would answer the call of commode conservation rounds in her tank of choice.


The movie would draw to a conclusion as Restroom Woman, flushed with earnest goodwill and desirous of  a new and sparkling clean world that would rise out of the cesspool of destruction, plunges the depths of Potty Deprivation and assures those left to carry on that they CAN build a clean, disinfected and sensitive new world where everyone can have their choice of one of these:

(The Prude realizes these potties are somewhat blood-curdling. Please remember that this IS the Prude version of a horror movie.)


Post Script:  Although we are still in Scary Week, not Thankful Month, please note that in 1935, Northern Tissue advertised its toilet paper as "splinter-free". Which makes us so very thankful we are not in the scary pre-1935 world.

6 comments:

ScheltyDebate said...

"splinter-free"~ Oh my word!

beth said...

"WIPE OUT!"

Lori said...

Loved the pictures and the new splinter-free information. We are so spoiled.

Anonymous said...

Love the toilets! - Joanie

Robin J. Steinweg said...

Do you remember who invented the flush toilet?

That's right. Thomas Crapper.

Look it up, it's history.

Danielle said...

That would be scary indeed! Many of my nightmares involve not being able to find an adequate toilet with proper privacy!! My sister has these nightmares too. Something must have happened in our childhood when we were too young to remember, yet it has stuck all these years.