Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Terror in the Sky

Around the world, and since the beginning of time, humans have dealt with seemingly irrational fears.

We live in constant state of vague nervous apprehension. Fear that some un-named Something, somewhere, is going to pounce. That Something is out to get you. We call this 'paranoia' and it stems from clouds.

Well meaning parents so often encourage their innocent, impressionable young children to look for shapes in the clouds. The Prude is of the firm belief that this practice accounts for 80% of all psychiatrist visits. For many of you, the damage is done. But The Prude feels so strongly that action must be taken for the unsullied, happy-go-lucky amongst us, that she sat down last night and learned to do Something New on her computer.

She has proof that those shapes in clouds are always ALWAYS monsters. And if we grow up not only believing that monsters are floating only a few thousand feet above our heads, but are encouraged to SEE THEM OUT, how can we live with anything but fear and forboding.  Come look at the cloud monsters below (all shot on 'beautiful' days with Your Prude's own camera) Together we can protect the next generation from years in therapy.

To aid you in your awareness The Prude has drawn the obvious monster shapes visible in the following masses of potential precipitation:
Angry Aquatic Creature

Large Blobby Creeping Thing

Angry Crustacean

Enormous Angry Amphibian

Crazed Carnivorous Butterfly

Poodle-Type Creature with Two Mouths

Angry Disembodied Cartoon Creature

Jellyfish Devouring Someone Wearing Leggings

 Cloud Nine. Not a place of blissful repose. It is a ravenous beast with a flickery tongue. You DON'T want to be on Cloud Nine.
Next time someone  says 'I see a shape in the clouds!' cover their eyes and change the subject to something that is more conducive to mental health than Shapes in Clouds. World wide annihilation or the bubonic plague come to mind.


Donna Boucher said...

AW. That is really fascinating....and funny!

I see happy faces.

Nicole Wetzel said...

Anita, my dear....I have boxes to unpack. Could you please lend a hand? Me thinks that you have too much time on your hands!

Truly love your writing though.

Anonymous said...

I will never be able to look at clouds the same way again! Do you know a good psychiatrist??? - Joanie

The Prude said...

Joanie :)

Danielle said...

Eeeek! I'm scared enough of butterflies fluttering around down here. Now I'm terrified of the giant ones hovering way above my head!