Monday, November 28, 2011


You see it on action adventure shows. The Heroine is strapped to a chair, her mouth taped shut. Her rescuer is about to cut the cord that binds her when he notices she is blinking in a surprisingly rhythmic manner.  Being fluent in Morse, he recognizes the code and reads her fluttering eyelashes: CHAIR—BOOBYTRAPPED––– DON’T- CUT– THE––– RED- WIRE--- YOU- DODO–––––

A Brave Hero trapped underground sends an urgent Morse code using traffic lights or neon signs. A Boy Scout or Navy Seal happens by, correctly interprets the signals, and clears the area before the evil genius,(who took time to loosely bind the Brave Hero in an inconvenient underground chamber instead of just shooting him point blank) can loose a dirty bomb.

You get the idea.  Someone is in trouble but can’t communicate via ordinary means. That Someone knows Morse. Someone blinks it or taps it or flashes it and another Someone who also knows Morse reads it and responds.

The Prude needs to learn Morse for 3 reasons.
- What if she is sitting at a frantically Morse Coding traffic signal? What if there are no Boy Scouts or Navy Seals around? How will she know what to do?

-Things get a little crazy at a 12-foot long Thanksgiving table. The person on the opposite end  hogging the gravy boat who claims he can’t hear repeated requests may take The Prude seriously if she blinks ‘PASS- THE- GRAVY-NOW-OR-I’LL-MAKE—SURE-YOU-GET---NO-TURKEY–––

-And finally, The Prude may need rescuing from herself.
Her mouth, taken captive by a gluttonous and overindulgent desire, may say ‘Just one more sliver of the Tollhouse Pie please. With just a smidge of whipped cream’  
But maybe she can dredge up enough willpower and memory of last year’s gastronomical misery for her short lashes to bat out,


Suef said...

I love the photo of the 12 ft Thanksgiving table! I will be watching for your fluttering short lashes!

Lori Lipsky said...

Hee hee. Poor tummy.

I enjoyed the photo, too.