Monday, June 6, 2011

The Royal Scoop

You will never believe what The Prude found at a garage sale.
A package of Doggy Doo bags.
You will never believe how much she paid for it.
(Does anyone use that cool little ¢ symbol any more?)
You will never believe how long ago she bought the package.
5 years.

But she guesses that you will believe how many bags she has left after 5 years.

And she is reluctant to use it.
And you may wonder.
The Prude also wonders.

Is it because she preens herself on the reminder of the Great Garage Sale Deal?
Is it another sentimental link to her dog’s puppyhood?

Or is she saving it for a special occasion?
Does she think that one day she will go out to clean up her dog’s doo with the regular dooper scooper, and notice that for whatever reason all the major news networks are parked outside with cameras trained on her house? 

And she will immediately grab that special remaining doggy doo bag to take care of business because it photographs better than the dooper scooper?

Or does she think that someday, on a visit to London with her dog, she will be parading said dog in front of Buckingham Palace, straining for a view of someone royal, when her dog will heed the powerful siren call of nature?
The crumpled Piggly Wiggly plastic bag in her pocket just won’t doo.

So The Prude, not wanting to offend any royalty, ladies-in-waiting or lords a-leaping,
whips out her last doggy doo bag and saves the royal sidewalk.

She isn’t sure.
All she knows is that she can’t use this doggy bag.
She knows what you’re thinking.
Why not buy another bag of Doggy Doo bags? They make more every day.
She isn’t sure.

But if you see a $0.05 pack of Doggy Doo bags at a garage sale, could you pick it up for her?
She’ll reimburse you. And name her current final bag in your honor.

No comments: