Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Heaps o' Approval

(Today’s title is in honor of Edgar Guest, The Prude’s father’s favorite poet.  If you know and enjoy Edgar’s poetry, drop a few consonants in his honor today. And rejoice with me over singular possessives.)

Today we continue learning why POVERTS (Political Advertisements) have worked their way into The Prude’s heart (of hearts).

II  A Personal Endorsement of POVERTS

    A.     The Prude’s Guilt is Assuaged
        (If I offended anyone with my slipshod lack of indentation for  A,B,C & D yesterday, I ask            forgiveness and your note of the indent presence today.)
 POVERTS never demand that I look deep into the corners of my kitchen to find dirt and grime, nor do they require me to look closely in the mirror to seek out new wrinkles. They don’t make me feel guilt over saturated fats, chubby puppies or crabgrass.  No- POVERTS are too busy making  Those Running Against the Candidate feel guilty.  The Prude loves few things more than deferred guilt.
    B.    The Prude’s Vanity is Pampered
        When the Candidate looks directly out of the flat screen TV and into The Prude’s eyes, and huskily and sincerely tells The Prude how discerning and intelligent The Prude is, and how she can’t be fooled by who(whom?)ever disagrees with the Candidate…this sentence is turning into one of those syntax corners The Prude referred to early on, into which she has a tendency to paint herself.  Since she sees no way out she will drop the paintbrush and simply begin a new sentence.)
        The Prude has to agree with the tidy and well coiffed Candidate.  She IS intelligent and discerning, and she spends the rest of the day performing discerning deeds and making intelligent remarks.

    C.    The Prude’s Pocketbook is Unscathed
        The best part about the POVERT is that it doesn’t beg for The Prude’s money.  Because, as alluded to yesterday, when one reads the fine print on the bottom of the flat screen, it says, ‘PAID FOR by the something to elect so-and-so to such-and-such’.

 There are only about 9 weeks left this year before the November elections in which to glory in the beauty of POVERTS and The Prude intends to enjoy every minute and every advertisement.  She will also fantasize about a world in which she can send all her bills to the Something to Elect So-and-So to Such-and-Such and they come back marked  ‘PAID FOR’.

Tomorrow: A return to disapproval    

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