Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Fear at the Fair

The Prude went to a County Fair this weekend.  County Fairs have much to recommend them, and The Prude heartily endorses them on principle. However, she wouldn't be doing her Duty if she didn't warn whoever cares to listen about the dangers that lurk at every County Fair. What follows is graphic, but a picture is worth a thousand words. Even though lecturing 1000 words is a great temptation for The Prude she needs to get some laundry on the line before winter.
This is the sort of person who hangs out at fairs. The sort who swim in pits of you-know-what.
The Prude spent the rest of the fair praying none of her loved ones would spend hours trapped under a cow.

Horses regard one with suspicion,
as do the cows

The Prude tried to warn these innocents about
the dangers of standing behind the back forty of
bovines because-
-bovines leave load mines wherever they roam.

There is food like this,

And like this.
Which creates long lines at-

-Places Like This.  Please note that unless the nether regions in the pit of the earth freeze over, The Prude will not be found perusing Place Like This.

However, as a health conscious mother, The Prude discovered something at the fair that deserves a
'2 Batter Fried Cheese Curds Up' call out.  She learned that the fair has developed a method to keep children healthy even after they have eaten the cotton candy, the fried pickles, the funnel cakes, and half-a-dozen $1 malts.  The Fair just provides rides like this:
And lets Nature and Gravity do the rest.

Tomorrow: Fear at the Fair part II- because the world needs more fair warnings.

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