Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Show you care. Join WHOMBATS.

Someone has to speak up for the young men of America.
WHOMBATS (Women Helping Our Men and Boys Avoid Trauma and gain SAC (Suitable Advertising Compensation))
is all over it.
The Prude hopes you are willing to organize a local chapter.

WHOMBATS goals are simple.

Goal 1: Suitable Advertising Compensation
We circulate petitions demanding that undergarment manufacturers start paying our young men who advertise their product. Nike pays athletes to wear their sweatbands. Coke pays TV stars to drink their beverage onscreen and Minute Maid gives oodles of cash so stadiums are named for orange juice.
But do Hanes or Jockey or Fruit of the Loom pay these willing males to wear  pants due south of the waistband of their undergarments and functioning as walking billboards for the tidy whities etc?
Our petition will demand a living wage for our boys.

Goal 2: Avoiding Trauma
We hold bake sales.
With the proceeds we purchase bits of colorful, ‘mod’ fabric.
We hold a WHOMBAT version of a quilting bee.
A loop bee.

How will loops help our young men avoid trauma?
The same way they kept young Victorian women from tripping over their dress trains on the dance floor.
Young men, victims of undergarment makers and a mistaken notion that the waist is located 8”below the hipbone, have seen their range of motion increasingly hampered by pants worn about the knees.
Although The Prude doesn’t worry about gangs of ruffians attacking our young men, (because ruffians have similarly low-slung pants thereby evening the odds)
what will our boys do if chased by, say, a mad dog? An out-of-control Buick? A fuming ex-girlfriend?
Our boys don’t stand a chance.
WHOMBATS members sew a stylish little loop on the waistband of their dungarees.
Our fleeing boy need only put his wrist through the loop, hitch up the britches, and sprint to safety.
And all because WHOMBATS dared to care.
Prototype of Loop of Rescue. Note the 'mod' pattern that will appeal to stylish young men.


Susan said...

Love the "mod" pattern that will appeal to stylish young men!

Lori Lipsky said...

I am often in wonder. Why do they do it?

Joanie said...

Too funny!