Tuesday, September 20, 2011

New Plagues? Story on A3.

Hitherto Undiscovered Frog Species

Remember the 10 plagues against Egypt?
The frog one in particular?
Things were pretty unpleasant along the Nile for awhile because Pharaoh was behaving badly.
Somebody on planet Earth is misbehaving these days because we have alarming new developments in the Amphibian-Reptilian arena.
Page A 3 of the paper reports that in India, 12 new species of frogs have been discovered.
Discovering 1 or 2 new species would be cause for rejoicing. 3 or 4 new species would be noteworthy and 7 or 8 may make you chuckle uneasily and start watching where you walk.
But twelve? Twelve new species would give one pause to reflect that
a) there are other hitherto undiscovered species all over the world and–
b) these undiscovered species are lurking just below the surface of the water of the world, watching our every move with their bulging eyes, and waiting for the signal to–
to what? and with whom?
And that is where our second alarming development comes into play...
A tiny headline, also on page A3 in the paper reads thus:
Two alligators seized in drug raid
That is correct.
Alligators are now turning to the seamy underworld of drugs.
These aren’t the old, 30-foot long alligators who thuggishly swagger the byways of Florida terrorizing snow birds and toy poodles.
These are young, underdeveloped alligators, turning to a life of crime at ever younger ages.
You don’t really believe these events are unrelated, do you?
You can’t look at the world’s desperate need to be taught a lesson without subsequently looking around your feet to see if an alligator wearing low-slung baggy jeans is offering you a ‘good time’. 
Don’t be surprised if, upon taking a refreshing slug of mineral water, you find a previously undiscovered frog blinking slyly at you from the bottom of the glass.
The Prude has no absolute proof of this conspiracy to commit an amphibian/reptilian plague. She does encourage us all, however, to write to the powers that be and encourage them to be on their best behavior. We don’t want next week’s page A3 headlines report a mysterious convening of locusts around the globe, do we?


bethBA said...

Now I know why there are so many froggies in my egress window well! However, I have unwittingly aided in controlling their population when I close my windows in the dark of night. Many a time I did not see them hiding in the hinge area and the next morning I have discovered their (ahem) squished bodies. And that's all I will say about that - ick!

The Prude said...

Oh Beth- too funny!

Lori Lipsky said...

I never ever see any frogs or toads. There must be some frog-eating critters in my neighborhood.

Anonymous said...

Aha! In Fla we have those little lizards erroneously called geckoes (they are really anoles). One day I found a two incher behind my front door, later another two incher in the bathroom, and this morning there was a 1-incher on the storm door!

Suef said...

We have lots and lots of frogs and toads around here. Little Charlotte playing with a toad today! But the picture in my mind of an alligator slinking around with low-cut baggy jeans is priceless and so funny!

The Prude said...

Anonymous in Fla: As long as they stay under 6 inches you shouldn't need to panic. When they reach half a foot you may want to consider moving north.