Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Four and Twenty Blackbirds



It would be easy to bake a 24-blackbird pie.
Set out a big pie tin.
The blackbirds will find it, move in, and stay forever.
You wouldn’t even need a top crust because, if the ones living in my house are any indication, blackbirds can’t find their way out of anything with more than one side.

Our blackbirds nest in the most unconventional and least homelike areas.
Trees are so last season.
The hot locations for blackbirds this year are:
-our soffits
-our gutters
The parents fly in and out of the soffit and gutter, build the nest, fly out for twigs, fly in with food, fly out again to get away from the kids.
In all this coming and going wouldn’t you think they would remember to train their offspring so they, too, can fly out?
Oh. No.
Our home echoes with the frantic sound of cranially-challenged young birds who don’t understand why squawking and pecking and fluttering are a suitable alternative to just flying out.
The equally frantic parents, faced with the options of
a) demonstrating to their babies how to fly UP from the gutter/ OUT of the soffit.
OR
b) dive-bombing the house to peck through the overhang and free their children
of course chose (b)
The only break in the attack came when the parents snatched some lunch and flew INTO THE SOFFIT AND GUTTER TO FEED THEIR CHILDREN.

I’m not sure how I feel about the survival of the fittest, but do we really want a generation of blackbirds who can’t fly their way out of a gutter with no roof or a soffit with no sides?

Tomorrow: The Husband/Blackbird War

4 comments:

Sue Vick Finley said...

Not the time to watch "The Birds". I have to have my mom read this. She has been fighting sparrows in her gutter for years. Very funny writing again. I love it.

Lori Lipsky said...

And just yesterday I was thinking about blackbirds and gathering some thoughts for a poem about them! How about that?

This post was so interesting. I can't wait to read about your husband's war with them. I know whose side I'm on.

Robin J. Steinweg said...

Sigh.
The blackbirds here murdered the robin eggs, destroyed their home- sweet-home, and have moved in--in hoards!
Sigh.

I feel a little better now that you called them "crainially challenged!"

Susan said...

What is it with the birds this year? We have had gold finches crazily attacking the back and side windows all spring. They never did this before. It's weird!