Thursday, October 13, 2011

Some Kind of Zombie

Won’t you come with The Prude down to Wall Street? To the capitol building in Madison? To the occupied EPA buildings?
Won’t you help fight the exploitation of an under-represented minority with no voice of their own?
Won’t you defend the Undead?

You would think the folks occupying Wall Street to protest greed
or the Wisconsin capitol to support workers' rights
or coal mines to protest coal mines would be sensitive to the entire exploitation issue, wouldn’t you?
You would.
But you would be wrong.

Those ‘zombies’ at the protests dressed in tatters and shreds, wearing sickly makeup and walking with their arms outstretched (during daylight hours, mind you) are not really the Undead.
The Prude believes they are only exploiting the Undead and have no interest in actually representing the good of the Formerly Alive.
Who will speak for this group who can’t speak for themselves?
(Other than to say ‘Uhn-uhn-hoohn-ahhhhmmmm’)

The Prude is willing. As one of the fortunate Living, it is her duty to defend those who have no will of their own.
Won’t you help stand for those who stalk?
If you are not able to come yourself, please consider a donation.
We need:
-lemongrass or flower scented cologne (to mask our human flesh scent that tends to attract the Undead. We don’t want to be devoured before we do good)
-high platform with retractable steps (the Undead don’t do steps. Again, we can’t represent their rights if they are eating us)
-shovels (don’t ask)

Until that day when the Undead are treated with as much consideration as the Truly Dead, The Prude will continue to fight. From a safe distance.

Ung-nugggghhh-arnggggg (Thank you)


Tammy said...

Ha! I thought they were ALL zombies... but yes you are right, exploitation indeed.

Lori Lipsky said...

I'm impressed by all your zombie knowledge. I have no clue.

Robin J. Steinweg said...

Zombies, zombies, everybody's got to do the zombie shuffle. Keep a stiff upper lip--stiff leg, stiff arm, stiff other leg, stiff other arm.

Pride and Prejudice zombies.
Timmy and Lassie zombies.
Aberzombie & fetch.
Who's your zombie?