Here’s how it works:
We are, at birth, issued heart sections to fill with emotions.
Most sections are fairly elastic- the Puppy Love area, for example.
At age 13 it expands so far that it actually moves beyond the heart wall and into areas such as the voice box, (rendering it speechless when speaking to the Object of Affection), and the stomach, (startling dormant butterflies into violent action at the sight of the same Object of Affection).
But the Object of Affection eventually loses his/her luster and Puppy Love section shrinks down to almost nothing till inflated by True Love.
The same is true of the ‘Need for Speed’ area predominant in teen boys- it stretches past the heart and squeezes shut Common Sense and Self- Preservation areas of the brain, but by daddyhood has assumed manageable proportions.
Unfortunately the elastic clause isn’t binding on the Emotions for Parents Area (EPA).
A certain amount of heart space is delegated and we’re required to keep it filled at all times.
It has a non-elastic clause.
As infants every nook and cranny of the EPA is filled with Need. A bit older and we don’t Need parents for minute-to-minute survival, so some Need is replaced with Love.
Love ebbs and flows as Resentment, Desire for Approval, and Utter Humiliation jockey for position.
But the EPA retains its original volume requirements.
For many sad reasons, Hate, Blame, or Regret sometimes wriggle in. These make it difficult for Love to survive in the EPA.
In the normal course of events, however, by adulthood most of us find our EPA filled almost completely with Love, Respect and Concern, and as our parents age, Compassion and Anxiety find space.
What happens to those who had to say goodbye to parents? We think ‘If only I could have had them for a few more years, I’d be able to handle the loss better’.
Not true. The EPA of your heart has a non-elastic clause, remember?
Parents could live to be 100 and there would be exactly the same amount of emotion to be lavished on them.
Those who have lost parents have a big heart part filled at first with Ache.
Then Affectionate Memories begin to replace some (but never all) of Ache, allowing room for Gratitude and Honor, all of which are highlighted by Love.
The EPA, no matter how it is filled, has a profound effect on True Love, Friend Love, Offspring Love, etc.
And the non-elastic clause means you will carry those emotions in full measure all of your days.