Thursday, July 28, 2011

Emeril, let the games begin!

The Prude has a scheme.
Er, dream.
She wants to organize an event.
It will attract people from around the world.
Rich or poor, old or young, buff or squishy,
all are welcome.
The only requirement is a kitchen.

Yes, The Prude wants to organize the first ever
Kitchen Olympics.

It could be held every four years.
Nations can approach The Prude and put in bids to hold
Kitchen Olympics in their realm.
Each participating nation can design aprons to reflect national pride.

The Prude is working on an opening ceremonies theme song.

But what, you may legitimately ask, are the events?
How can I, you wonder, train for the thrilling
Kitchen Olympics
if I don’t know what I am training for?

And this is where The Prude gets a bit fuzzy.
She has a few:

-Messiest dessert 
(this one will also have style points)

-speed emptying dishwasher

-oldest expiration date on food in freezer (the Prude has some dating back to the previous millennium)

-cleaning a Tupperware cupboard with the least number of widow and orphan lids and containers left over

-the biggest variety of silverware patterns in a utensil drawer.

And that is it so far.
She is thinking that if she is going to have sponsorships and major media news coverage
she may need to add to the list.

So… anyone have anything to add?
Come up with an event and The Prude will name it after you!


MommyMagpie said...

There needs to be an event for the most nutritionally balanced meal created using no more than seven ingredients. (I should add that I have been in training for this event for YEARS, so I'm willing to spot the other competitors two ingredients to level the playing field.)

bethBA said...

Let me know when you finish that theme song. I'd love to record it for you...

The Prude said...

Mommy Magpie we will have your event on opening day. And if we serve the leftovers to the competitors we will be doing double duty.

Robin J. Steinweg said...

How about a category for the best casserole made from Whatever You Have On Hand?

Kitchen Olympics. I may not go into training for this one.

Though I probably should.

Joanie said...

"I'm in the kitchen with Dinah! I'm in the kitchen, I knoooow. I'm in the kitchen with Dinah..."

The Prude said...

Someone's in the kitchen with Dinah!
Beth, what do you think of that for the opening ceremony song?

Forgiven said...

There should be an event for scraping burned lasagna and peach pie off the bottom of the oven and corresponding baking dishes. Perhaps "burned" says something about my own kitchen training.

Lori said...

Most disgusting moldy dishes of left-overs in the refrigerator.

The Prude said...

Oh yes, I think we have enough games for the Kitchen Olympics!
Ladies, begin training!