Thursday, July 14, 2011

Blood and Lust and Death. Oh My.

The Foe: One down, a katrillion to the 10th power to go

When the world was young the animal kingdom and humans were still trying to peacefully coexist.
Humans, realizing that mosquitoes were small and fragile, took care to tread lightly and inhale gently in mosquito territory.
Mosquitoes, sensitive to the annoying nature of their buzz, avoided human ear canals.
Feeling a wee awkward about the whole blood-sucking persona, they fed on the rhinoceros, who frankly couldn’t care less.

Humans had no notion of what would happen if a mosquito ever chose to partake of human blood for nourishment.

Which of course was because the flimsy mosquitoes, desperate to maintain good relations with humans, spent most of their time trying to draw blood from a rhino.
Incidentally, this left little time for procreation.

One fateful day a housewife, cleaning the walls of her abode, happened on a drowsy mosquito slumbering in the shadows. This particular mosquito was finally with child, and her husband, filled with joy at the prospect of parenthood, hovered nearby.

In one of those cosmic quirks that change the course of history, this particular housewife was nearsighted. She assumed the plump mosquito was a spot of dirt and scrubbed her right out of existence.

Mosquito husband, in a frenzy of grief and retribution, bit the housewife.
He was halfway home before he realized how incredibly easy dinner had been to retrieve.
Wiping away his tears, he pondered. What were mosquitoes doing, trying to get blood through the thick hide of a rhino when the tender permeable flesh of humans was all that stood between a insect and his meal?

Meanwhile, Mr. Human husband returned home. He  found his wife alternately scratching and crying over a welt on her arm.  Between sobs he heard ‘Mosquito! Bite!’

He rushed headlong from his home and gathered an army. Together they went to the Place of the Rhinos, bent on mosquito annihilation, but before they arrived they ran into a swarm of mosquitoes in the throes of bloodlust.

Thus began the battle.
It rages to this day, and only in a new creation can man and mosquito once again dwell in harmony.
Weapons of defense and mass destruction

War Wounds



Lori said...

Hate mosquitoes. Love your post.

Robin J. Steinweg said...

Brrrrrr! Mosquitos. Brrrrrr!