MeteoRology Wednesday: Storm Skedaddlers Unite

Wednesdays are the days The Prude increases your knowledge.

Today she leads you to the basement to learn a few facts about tornadoes.

We all know they are dangerous. We have seen, sadly, that they are killers.

And The Prude doesn’t believe man was made to mess with tornadoes.

So today, Teacher Prude has a little test for you.

1) Where do 75% of tornadoes occur?

a) The uninhabited part of the Sahara Desert

b) The uninhabited part of the Artic Circle

c) The very inhabited part of the land of the free and home of the brave

2) Which windows should be opened to equalize pressure during a tornado?

a) northeast (opposite the direction of the approaching tornado)

b) southwest (toward the approaching tornado)

c) Are you crazy? Stop messing with windows that don’t stand a chance against 200mph winds and get your tail in the basement!

3) In 1938, a tornado in Kansas plucked the feathers right off some chickens.

a) True

b) False

c) It is a trick question. The feathers were plucked in 1928.

4) During a tornado you should huddle

a) in the southwest corner so the tornado skips over you

b) in the northeast corner so the tornado can’t find you

c) 200 mph winds people. Remember that, get away from the exterior wall nearest the tornado’s path (and your chimney) and huddle under a stairwell.

5) Some experts believe the famous Crop Circles in Britain were made by

a) aliens in possession of an oversized compass

b) members of the Royal Family creating a tidy spot in which to engage in Royal Shenanigans

c) weak whirlwinds/small tornadoes, about 60 of which are formed every year in Britain.

If you answered ‘c’ for all of the above, congratulations! You can join the Prude and the

Royal Order of Tornado Flee-ers. Meeting in basements across the USA from now till August.