Look around, America.
What is happening to our Sears?
This mighty chain once stretched from sea to shining sea.
The peaceful stores flourished in rural areas, cities, even suburbs.
It adapted to survive in plazas, and when plazas metamorphasized into shopping malls, Sears metamorphasized as well.
Sears grew strong as America grew.
It was a symbiotic relationship.
America grew on Sears shopping.
Catalogues doubled as inexpensive toilet paper alternative in outhouses,
and booster seats for toddlers.
Children made collages from last season’s all-lingerie-sections-removed issue.
The arrival of the Christmas Catalogue was practically a national holiday.
From Sears, one could purchase everything to furnish a home, and then order a house. From Sears.
But America got careless.
“There are plenty of Sears!” America said. “No worries! No need to guard Sears and care for it. It will never be extinct! They have a tower named for them, for goodness sake!”
But what if America is wrong?
Today Sears is on the ‘Endangered Retail Store’ list. Where once stood bustling emporiums, today are half-empty parking lots.
“What can I do?” you say. “I’m only One Person!”
The Prude believes you, One Person, can:
-Write your congressman to proclaim ‘Endangered Sears Day’.
-Encourage your state to issue a license plate honoring Sears.
-Get a ‘Save a Sears’ bumper sticker. (template above)
-Have bake sales. Make t-shirts.
-Clean up a Sears parking lot.
-Bring a Sears catalogue to work.
-Take your family on a field trip to your local Sears store. Get to know it. Smile at the clerks. They are lonely.
Before we knew it, Sears Tower was Willis Tower.
It is our wake-up call.
What’s next? Kohls? TARGET?
Stop the madness.
Save a Sears.
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