Friday, August 20, 2010

The Beauty of Euphemisms

Long ago, the first Prude sat musing as she added more clothing to her husband’s cave drawings.  She wanted her son to clean up the mess left behind by a wandering wooly mammoth, but something in her sensitive nature shrank from calling it by the crass name her husband used. He used this short, vulgar term to refer not only to the actual piles left behind wandering animals, but also for his emotional reaction to stubbing his toe on a rock, throwing his spear at his prey and missing, and for the general state of cave politics.

Our earliest Prude mother, in an inspired fit of genteel substitutionism, called, “Thor!  Go clean up the poo in front of the cave!”

The euphemism was born.

There are euphemisms for bodily functions (such as the passing of internal bodily gasses into the external atmosphere), occupations (domestic engineer) and underworld leaders of the Mafia (persons of influence).

Today The Prude will treat you to a few of her favorite terms for various areas of the body. 

Actually only 2 areas.  There are some body parts that The Prude refuses to acknowledge.

We will first cover (literally and figuratively) the area on women between their throat and their waist (depending on the age of the woman).  This is an area I like to call the ‘chestal region’.  Short, descriptive, and inducing few, if any, lewd reactions.

Then there is the hind quarters area. Everyone seems to have been born with these.  We refer to this area as ‘buns’. Plural. A nice, cozy, warm, sort of plush term. The Prude’s mother used to refer to this area as the ‘Pooket’.  The Prude’s mother would give the Prude ‘patchins on her pooket’ when the Prude was naughty, which must be why The Prude has an aversion to this term.

Feel free to adopt these terms, including pooket, as your own.  The Prude dream of one day hearing Hugh Hefner describe his girls as ‘well-developed in the chestal region’ and then enacting a policy that requires his girls to be fully covered in a least 2 opaque layers from 6” above the chestal region to 16” below the buns area.

MONDAY: The Prude explains the Loveliness of Lectures.


Cindy said...

"Pooket" is clearly a derivative of my own grandmother's term, "Pookie." Love it. Love you too!

Anonymous said...

Wow...we have a lot in common. We also used the term "chestal". Great minds think alike.


Robin J. Steinweg said...

Honest, I'm not trying to "one-up" you on prudism, but really. This subject has embarrassed me to blushing, and I'm surprised at you for even addressing such things. I shall look forward to Monday's much safer sounding subject, thank you very much.

Robin J. Steinweg said...

I have had second thoughts concerning my above comment. After all, the police have to frequent some seedy spots in their quest to stamp out crime and deeds of darkness. Why should the quest of The Prude be any different?

So I will not censure you, dearest Prudie, but cheer you on to fight this good fight. Proceed with joyful abandon, thou with sacred calling!

Carol said...

pooket is a Dutch term. Gramdma VB used all the time.

Anonymous said...

Hugh Hefner would be wise to listen to your advice, Mama Prude! - Joanie

The Prude said...

Next time any of you lovely above ladies stubs her toe(s) I invite you all to shout out 'Oh Pooket!'
You'll feel better immediately. (Although Robin may blush a little)

Sue said...

I am definitely going to try this 'Oh Pooket' thing. It rolls of the tongue just right.