Thursday, August 25, 2011

It Could Happen Tomorrow. Batten down your cow.

It was bound to happen.
The east coast couldn’t stand letting the west hog all the attention. Rumor has it they used stimulus money to hire an earthquake. Unfortunately they could only scrape together enough to eek out a 5.8.

You know of course that stimulus money had nothing to do with the earthquake. That is just a bit of whimsy in which The Prude indulges from time to time.
But she admits her anxiety level is increasing.
Because apparently earthquakes, bored and restless with wreaking havoc on the west coast, have decided to take their rampage elsewhere.
They swaggered east and started a rumble.
They tossed cars upside down, trashed grocery stores and drove fearful citizens scrambling for the dubious safety of their homes.
Police were powerless to stop this particular brand of hooliganism.

The fracas took some time to die out, and whole sections of country were in upheaval.
But all bullies have a yellow streak.
The earthquakes heard that Hurricane Irene was heading their way and Irene was tougher than any police force with riot gear.

So the earthquakes are lying low, waiting for another opportune moment to gather strength and victimize another innocent and helpless portion of our nation.
And though they were blessedly oblivious to the Midwest this time, who knows?
Ruffian types may think cow tipping and cornfield destruction a new way to get their kicks.
What earthquake wouldn’t want to rattle the complacency of Chicago and Milwaukee?
All those windows to break…

Yes, The Prude is concerned. She used to sit in her house, watching on TV the destruction wrought by rogue earthquakes and think ‘It could never happen here.’
Oh, those famous last words!

Maybe we could scrounge up enough stimulus money to hire a minor Lake Michigan  hurricane.
Possible fallout if earthquakes tyrannize the Midwest


bethBA said...

Ah, Prudie...I marvel at all the attention a little shakin' of the earth has caused so many east of the Mississippi. (sigh) What they will do to steal the thunder of us veteran Californians! Including this native who grew up practicing earthquake drills. Imagine her children's confusion when caught at the school indoor pool with their mother one summer afternoon. Suddenly, the police came in with the frantic news that a tornado was heading right toward us. (The school was so well insulated we could not hear the warning sirens.) All of our wet bodies were herded into the locker rooms. My kindergarden graduate assumed "tornado" safety position - but I said "Wait a minute - that's "earthquake" position!" Copycats!!

The Prude said...

I'm telling you Beth, all the trends start on the west coast!

Lori Lipsky said...

Beth sounds so nonchalant about the whole thing.

Good thing you have some Californian friends around to keep you calm, Prude. It is encouraging. I've never felt an earthquake either.

Robin J. Steinweg said...

Um, is Carole King from California? Did she write "I Feel the Earth Move" after a temblor?

How did you get the cows to pose like that for so long?

Joanie said...

I prefer a little less shaking, thank you very much!
Great post, Prudie!

Anonymous said...

awesome blog, do you have twitter or facebook? i will bookmark this page thanks.

My site:
courtier rachat credit Rachat De Credit