Monday, February 6, 2012

Queen Elizabeth, may we present President Roseanne?

Sixty years ago today Elizabeth ascended to the throne of England. Whether she wanted to or not, she was the Queen.
A year later Roseanne Barr was born.
That is just the beginning of the amazing links between these women.
As the Queen celebrates her Diamond Jubilee, Roseanne celebrates her announcement that she is seeking the nomination of the Green Party. 
She wants to be the president.
The Queen has had 1 husband, 4 children, 8 grandchildren and 1 great-grandchild.
Roseanne has had several husbands/paramours, 5 children and, according to her, 5 grandchildren.
During the Diamond Jubilee Year the Queen and Prince Philip will tour Great Britain while her family visit the Commonwealth, from Canada to New Zealand.
Roseanne plans to " barnstorm American living rooms."
The Queen raises Corgi dogs.
Roseanne says ‘Men aren’t dogs. Dogs are loyal.’

The Queen is generous. She doesn’t want the expense of the Jubilee to fall on taxpayer shoulders, so it will be privately funded.
Roseanne is generous.
She will, as president, forgive all student loans and all homeowner and credit card debt.
The Queen cares about health and encourages research on disease.
Roseanne cares about health and wants to legalize marijuana so women can  ‘integrate their divided  consciousness with a herb instead of doctors' pills that kill the liver.’
Celebrities love Queen Elizabeth.
The Spice Girls want to reunite for a concert in her honor.
Kathy Griffin and some girl from some show called ‘iCarly’ love Candidate Roseanne.
The Queen knows all the words to ‘God Save the Queen’, the national anthem of Great Britain.
Candidate Roseanne knows all the words of ‘The Star Spangled Banner’ and will no doubt learn the correct key in which to sing it by the time she is inaugurated as President.
Happy Diamond Jubilee Queen Elizabeth! Live long and prosper.
And... um, have a nice day, Candidate Roseanne.


Susan said...

Seriously! Thank you for keeping me informed!

Suef said...

Ditto to Susan! Rosanne is now on my radar! Thanks.

Lori Lipsky said...

Happy Accession Day Anniversary to Queen Elizabeth II! We can only hope and pray to be going as strong at 85.

Thanks for keeping us informed here, Prude.

Long live the Queen!!