Don’t Leave Your Chewing Gum on the Bedpost Overnight (it may get stolen)

Stick 'em up! Hand over the gum!

Have you seen the commercials for chewing gum on TV? The ones in which folks are willing to use gum (Trident Layers?) as currency? Where folks say ‘Of course you can pay me in gum!”?

They may want to think about banning those commercials in England.

Somebody is taking them way too seriously.

In a ‘Life Imitates Art’ reality twist, members of organized Romanian gangs living in England will troll up and down supermarket aisles, pocket CHEWING GUM, exit without paying, HOP IN THEIR GETAWAY CAR, and bring the gum to Romania where it is used AS CURRENCY.

The Prude is unsure which of these is most astounding. She does appreciate that one can pop a good deal more gum into one’s pocketses than, say, cereal boxes.

What is not to love about the gang members dashing off in the getaway car (whose engine has been running) and laughing wildly over the looted  piles of gum, pausing only to cuff the hapless driver who tried to sneak a piece surreptitiously but was betrayed by his fresh-and-fruity breath?

Who cannot appreciate that some shopkeepers in Romania who run out of small change will give you gum back from your dollar?

And doesn’t it give a whole new meaning to ‘sticky fingered pickpockets’?

Of course, it’s fun till someone gets hurt. So far no shopkeeper has been injured while defending his gum, the getaway cars haven’t mowed down any pedestrians in their mad dash to freedom in Romania, and no Romanian tourist has bitten down on a piece of gum well past its expiration date and broken a tooth.

If you happen to travel in England, don’t be surprised if you notice that the gum is kept in a locked case behind the registers.

And for goodness sake, if you bring gum along, don’t chew it in public places. 

You never know who is watching.