Tuesday Stew: Optimists are all wet

Think the glass is almost full? Wait a minute...

Have you figured out the problem with politicians, big business and professional athletes?

They are a bunch of optimists, looking at a half-full glass through rosy spectacles.

Ditch those glasses, ladies and gentlemen.

We need pessimists in office, in the office, and in the ball park.

Consider the politician who speaks of the glowing future for our nation.

No wonder nothing gets done in DC. They are blinded by their own light.

A healthy dose of pessimism would have those duly elected representatives keeping an eye on the sky they knew would be falling any second.

They would set to work with all due haste in

securing the protective pillars and canopy of the Constitution.

If  pessimists were CEO’s of big oil companies, their reasoning would be such:

Yes, we need oil. Yet pipelines tend to burst. It costs katrillions in dollars and ill will and clean water when pipes burst. I’m sure they will burst.

Which would lead him to decide:

 I’m going to hire someone to check every inch of pipeline for potential bursts. And I’ll hire a backup to check the checker. I’m a pessimist, after all.

Professional athletes should always always ALWAYS be thinking like pessimists.

I won’t be able to throw a football/baseball/my weight around forever. Someday money and women will stop rolling in.

How about I save money, and stay faithful to my wife? They’ll both be there when the applause ends!

or

Jiminy, maybe I shouldn’t send these racy photos to what’s-her-name I met in the bar.

Because I’ll get caught. Maybe I should just exchange recipes with my ma.

Always ask a politician, the owner of a company you in which you want to invest, or your favorite athlete:

Is the glass half empty or half full?

If the answer is, “ It doesn’t matter, because it will probably tip over. Let’s grab a towel just in case,’

you know you have a winner.