The Early Bird Gets Bronchitis

The Prude is a big fan of Old Wives’ Tales.

She is a proponent of the Wise Old Saying.

Birds of a feather do tend to flock together.

If you can get close enough to a bird to put salt on its tale chances are you can catch him.

But some Old Sayings are so scurrilous as to rate a disapproval post.

Everyone by now knows that eating like a bird implies you devour your own body weight in food each day.

It is common knowledge that if you are a birdbrain you should be flattered. You have the sense to fly south for the winter and remain there until the weather improves.

But ‘The Early Bird Gets the Worm’ is single-handedly responsible for more psychological damage than any other saying or tale since Eve told Adam not to worry about the boys because ‘Birds in their little nests agree.’

The Way-Too-Early Birds

The Prude today debunks the myth of the early bird with photographic evidence.

See this bird? 

He no doubt slept in till nine.  He has none of that pompous, up-since-the-crack-of-dawn attitude. He tells the slothful, the slug-a-bed, the morning lounger, ‘Have no shame! The best worms don’t get moving till just before noon!”

That worm dangling from his beak? That was the twelfth worm The Prude saw him snatch from the ground  after she had set out a 10 am to finally do her weeding.

The smug robin winked at her as if to say, “You too? Never mind. The best weeds are easier to see when the sun is high.  No worries.”

My little robin friend poked cheerfully about the yard and with very little labor pulled out worm after wriggly worm.  Because, as everyone knows,

The Worm doesn’t Turn up till mid-morning.