When Life Gives You Cabbage, Make Sauerkraut Pizza

To the teenaged boys who occasionally drop by ‘The Prude Disapproves’:

The Prude apologizes if today is the day you had occasion to stop in. She did warn that the Tuesday Stew may include recipes.

But please note­­–it is a very manly recipe.

A poltergeist is loose at The Prude’s. It misplaced the booklet with her 400 various passwords and user names. It stole her fiber tablets.

And it left the door of the garage freezer open just a crack. Too small to be immediately noticeable, but just enough to thaw everything in the door.

Did The Prude cry or curse? No she did not.

There was no time.

The sight of the exploding frozen pizza dough galvanized her brain immediately.

She assessed the damage:

everything in the freezer itself, including the venison chops from the previous millennium, were still solid.

The Italian Lemon Ice unfortunately resembled something found in a bedpan. So, come to think of it, did the mini chocolate ice cream sandwiches.

The sausages were thawed too- and with that discovery The Prude’s brain really began to fire on all 2 cylinders.

She gathered the ingredients.

She spread the blob of dough in a 9x13.

Drizzled on some Thousand Island dressing. (The expiration date said sometime in 2010- but ‘use by’ is more like a suggestion than a demand.)

Next came the sauerkraut, then the Swiss cheese and the sliced sausage.

Bake it at 400 degrees for 25 minutes and

 VOILÀ

 A Prude-husband pleasing pizza with a little Bavarian, a little Italian, and a lot of American ingenuity tossed together.

All thanks to that pesky poltergeist.

That pesky, fully regular poltergeist who is most like ordering 5000 copies of ‘The Amityville Horror’ with The Prude’s Amazon account info.