Friday, March 4, 2011

The Passive Voice of the Prude is Used

The Wall of Grammar, with a Part of Speech Block for Everyone
This week has been tough on you non-Grammar types. Can you grit your teeth and sit through one more?

The Prude has these examples to prove that Grammar has Something for Everyone.

Nonrestrictive Clause
Terriers, who never listen to reason, will leap for the jugular of Rottweilers if they are tied with only a nonrestrictive clause.

Some people don’t eat enough fiber; they may end up with only a semicolon.

Indefinite Pronouns
Almost anybody trying to get elected will be indefinite about whether somebody should be  anti or pro nouns.

Proper Nouns
The Prude is a great fan of the Proper Noun.

Concrete Noun
The Prude’s Husband has been know to curse a noun and its concrete covering for hardening before he could smooth it.

Demonstrative Pronouns
That teenage couple is a little too demonstrative and somebody should tell them so this minute. Hand me that pry bar to separate them.

Verb Tenses
The Prude is tense in the present looking at spring catalogues knowing she will be future tense when she can’t hide beneath sweats anymore. In a delightful past perfect she hadn’t been tense to wear shorts.

-The Prude is usually in an indicative mood. She states facts. She offers opinions. Did you know she even asks questions in her indicative mood?
-Some days she is imperatively moody. She tosses orders and commands left and right,
Somebody better be listening.
-Then there are subjective mood moments, when she reflects that if only she had learned to (type, knit, ski, sew, cook, boss) folks may have taken her imperative moods seriously.

Lets give a nod to relative pronouns, or better yet, to actual relatives, who may nod back.

And finally, in a rare political statement, The Prude closes the week with the latest in Grammar styles here in her home state.
The Collective Noun.
The Collective Republicans are fighting the Collective Democrats (if they can find them)
The Collective Public Sphere and the Collective Private Sphere are trying to find common ground, most of it centered around the state capitol rest rooms.
And of course, most of the rhetoric centers on Collective Bargaining.

If you want to be cool this weekend, throw around the word ‘Collective’ a few times.

Grammar Week is finished! Have a positive- no, make that a superlative weekend!


MommyMagpie said...

I am thinking of making your blog required reading for my homeschooled children. I might even make them diagram the sentences!

The Prude said...

Once you teach them, could you update me? I never QUITE perfected sentence diagramming. Too technical for my free-floating brain...

dljatj said...

You got me to laugh out loud again today! I love your sense of humor.