It was bound to happen.
The east coast couldn’t stand letting the west hog all the attention. Rumor has it they used stimulus money to hire an earthquake. Unfortunately they could only scrape together enough to eek out a 5.8.
You know of course that stimulus money had nothing to do with the earthquake. That is just a bit of whimsy in which The Prude indulges from time to time.
But she admits her anxiety level is increasing.
Because apparently earthquakes, bored and restless with wreaking havoc on the west coast, have decided to take their rampage elsewhere.
They swaggered east and started a rumble.
They tossed cars upside down, trashed grocery stores and drove fearful citizens scrambling for the dubious safety of their homes.
Police were powerless to stop this particular brand of hooliganism.
The fracas took some time to die out, and whole sections of country were in upheaval.
But all bullies have a yellow streak.
The earthquakes heard that Hurricane Irene was heading their way and Irene was tougher than any police force with riot gear.
So the earthquakes are lying low, waiting for another opportune moment to gather strength and victimize another innocent and helpless portion of our nation.
And though they were blessedly oblivious to the Midwest this time, who knows?
Ruffian types may think cow tipping and cornfield destruction a new way to get their kicks.
What earthquake wouldn’t want to rattle the complacency of Chicago and Milwaukee?
All those windows to break…
Yes, The Prude is concerned. She used to sit in her house, watching on TV the destruction wrought by rogue earthquakes and think ‘It could never happen here.’
Oh, those famous last words!
Maybe we could scrounge up enough stimulus money to hire a minor Lake Michigan hurricane.
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| Possible fallout if earthquakes tyrannize the Midwest |
