Give a
Prude a big enough broom and she’ll sweep the world.
Don’t give
a Prude a big broom.
Please.
If you’ve
been with me for any amount of time, you have gotten a glimpse into the world
of Prudedom. You know it encompasses so much more than excessive regard for
modesty. Our excesses reach past modesty and encompass rules of behavior before
codifying the Proper Way to do Everything.
Take our
sweeping situation, for example. A fully vested Prude knows there is a proper
way to sweep. She knows about angling into corners and moving all the furniture
and shaking out the rugs. She knows it is cheating to sort of strew around the
room that little line of dust left in front of the dustpan. And she would never
store a broom resting on its bristles.
The problem
with our full-force Prude is that she doesn’t know when to quit. She’ll finish
the floor and start on the baseboards. She’ll get those done and tackle the
corners of the ceiling. She’ll head outdoors to sweep her stoop, her sidewalk,
her neighbor’s stoop, and if you don’t stop her she’ll be heading to Oklahoma
because she heard they have a dust storm.
If you have
a prude in your life, do her a kindness. Take the broom gently from her hands.
Remind her that the world needs her in so many other ways. Distract her. Ask
her what she thinks of droopy male pants. Tell her you just heard someone call
a Canada Goose ‘Canadian’. Warn her that sometimes couples smooch in public in
Oklahoma.
Prudes need
you as much as you need them. They can’t monitor the modesty, behavior and
propriety of the world if they are stuck in a corner swatting at cobwebs. It’s
your job to remind her.
5 comments:
So what DO you think of droopy male pants (I want to hear it again), and please bring your broom over next time you come. I could use your help:-).
Perfect Prude-ish post today.
There is a 'Canadian' goose with droopy pants outside my window pooing on our cement wall. I need a Prude with a broom! Come quickly!
I'm the same way with a vacuum cleaner. Does that make me a "hi-tech" Prude??????
Lynn! So fun to see you here, Prude sister!
Lori and Sue, you are nuts.
Dearest Prude, what would I do without you? Your timeliness causes one to wonder whether prudes are clairvoyant.
Just yesterday I held a debate with myself concerning Canada/Canadian goose (yes, I KNOW this--but my over-a-certain-number brain would not comply by providing the information).
And I was not raised by a prude. My mother kept a clean house, but not prudishly so. I confess that earlier this very week I wondered where to find a broom that would last more than a month. You have solved the dilemma. I've always stored the broom (I'm sorry to shock you) on its bristles.
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