Only You can Save the PAMs

What The Prude would like to see on PAMs

The Prude is aware that you can’t turn on your television or check your mail or answer phones calls from folks who snuck past your NoCall list without a request that you assist an underprivileged people or creature group.

But she is going to add one more.

A certain class of persons live and move and have their beings among us and they NEED OUR HELP.

 Dear Friend, watch television for any length of time. Read almost any magazine except ‘Highlights’ or ‘Taste of Home’ and you will see these unfortunates paraded about and exploited.

So The Prude is organizing a Clothing Drive for

Perfume Ad Models ( a PAM-CD)

Perfume ad models have a severely limited wardrobe.  Their primary apparel appears to be olive oil.

And while it no doubt keeps the pores nicely hydrated, olive oil has little to recommend it in the warmth and comfort line. Goose bumps, the resulting secondary covering for our insubstantially-clad models, have been Photo Shopped out.

Look at the poor wee bairn’s faces. Do you ever see a PAM smile? No. They are pouting. They need CLOTHING, for pity’s sake!

Perfume manufacturers have stubbornly refused The Prude’s request that they stop exploiting these wretchedly under-clad PAMs and start covering them with fabric.

So The Prude is taking matters into her own hands.

Start saving up all your old clothing. Probably size 0 or -2 for the female PAMs (although larger/looser sizes are welcome) and size Chest Enormous, Hipbone 18” for the male PAMs.

We won’t stand idly by any more, clad demurely from collarbone to kneecap, while these underfed youngsters are forced to model perfume by wearing little more than the actual perfume.  We’ll gather up the clothing and send it to the greedy perfume makers with the message that if they won’t cover their models, we will.

We can do this, friends. WE can make a difference. The Prude has a dream that one day we will turn on our televisions and see smiling PAMs clad in loose, opaque garb. You may even recognize something from our PAM-CD.

Is it too much for The Prude to hope they name a perfume after her?